
Matthew Taylor
Kidsit Founder, Editor, Illustrator, and father of three beautiful kids in Sydney, Australia.
(Plus Random Joke Button!)
Kids are natural comedians, they love telling jokes and laughing at even the silliest stories. Even young children enjoy the structure of joke-telling; the setup, the unexpected punchline, then laughing out loud together!
Kids can happily spend hours improvising their own jokes and experimenting to test what their friends and family find funny.
Help them out by browsing through our list of 307 kid-friendly jokes below, or click the Random Joke Button for rapid-fire gags:
So they can hide upside down in a bowl of custard!
Browse our complete list of kids jokes below.
Save this page to your mobile home screen for instant access whenever you hear the words "I'm bored"!
Let the laughter begin...
Kids are constantly asking parents why, now it’s time to ask them questions! These riddles will help kids to think outside of the box and to question everything while they try to think of an answer. Some of these are tricky but all of them are fun!
2nd place!
Having to spell it!
An egg!
Because it would be a foot!
Because if it lifted up both legs it would fall over!
Does my butt look big in these jeans?
A comedi-hen!
Because putting them on the bottom doesn’t work!
You rocket!
Between us, something smells!
A mouse because it squeaks!
A pair of pants!
A swimming race!
A milkshake!
Microwaves!
Because 7, 8, 9!
Because they have so many fans!
Tweethearts!
Do you smell carrots?
Because they taste funny!
Anyone can roast beef!
Only one! After that, it’s not empty.
In the mainstream!
He didn’t want to wake up the sleeping pills!
Pop music!
Pregnant!
Do-you-think-he-saw-us?
Because she will let it go!
Chew, chew!
’Smiles’, because there’s a mile between each ’s’.
Sneakers!
An exhausted kangaroo!
Neither, they both weigh a ton!
I’ll meet you at the corner!
It waves!
By using a ruler!
Look out for poodles!
No eye-deer!
Still no eye-deer!
Hot, because you can catch a cold!
The Thesaurus!
He changed his mind!
Puts on a jacket!
Ton!
The temperature!
You’re under a vest!
Thing one and thing two!
Sign language!
The egg, because dinosaurs laid eggs long before they evolved into chickens!
A cold!
Hot water!
A garbage truck!
Roll them back!
Spelling!
They have nerves of steel!
A crocroach… RUN!
An investigator!
He lost his case!
In case she got a hole in one!
B!
Hey, bud!
May, because it only has three letters!
Dead ends!
The letter ‘V’!
No, unless you Count Dracula!
Stop!
It wooden go!
Go to a rock concert!
A dead parrot!
I spent 10 minutes fixing a broken clock today.
At least I think it was 10 minutes!
Because her students were so bright!
Saturday and Sunday, the others are weak days!
R2 detour!
They’re all size ’S’!
Yes, of course, a house can’t jump!
Because chickens hadn’t evolved yet!
A stick!
Because they live in schools!
Your teeth!
Nowhere!
Because they have big fingers!
None, they were all copycats!
It caused a revolution!
Bugs bunny!
The ground!
Long enough to reach the ground!
Because she’s always running away from the ball!
A panda rolling down the stairs!
Time to get a new clock!
Donation! Can you give me $10?
A walk!
A look!
A be! (bee)
A watch-dog!
A stamp!
A gummy bear!
Because they eat whatever bugs them!
Where is pop corn?
Give me a ring sometime!
The door won’t shut!
Because his feet were SO smelly!
Time to duck!
Because they don’t have chairs!
There are 11 letters in ‘the alphabet’!
The ones in the mail!
It saw the salad dressing!
A gold-fish!
Blood orange!
Buzzcuts!
Lunch and dinner!
Lemon aid!
A burglar alarm!
She wanted cold hard cash!
Diarrhea and Alzheimer’s, you’re running but you don’t know where!
Because he wanted to go to high school!
To get to the other slide!
A carrot!
Cow-boom!
Ever tried swatting a fly with a fridge?
Because if it flew over land it would be called a landgull!
Twister!
No, but April May!
Silent Night!
Right where you left him!
Because he had nobody to dance with!
You’re pointless!
Carefully!
A woolly jumper!
It had too many problems!
Twice half it’s length!
A cloud!
Yaki nori!
Hey, nice belt!
Because he was the teacher’s pet!
Dam!
He wanted to grow mashed potatoes!
The same middle name!
Because if they fell forwards they would still be in the boat!
So they don’t get spotted!
Nothing. Bananas can’t talk!
Finding half a worm!
Finding half a spider!
Because it wanted to be a watermelon!
The polar bear.
Snap!
A mon-key!
A stick!
A dino-snore!
A hole!
Should we walk or catch a dog?
Because he wanted to be a Smarty!
The outside!
It was below ‘C’ level!
Act like a nut!
Because they work on so many levels!
Because you can see right through them!
Because it was too heavy to carry!
Because they have the most points!
Because it’s faster than walking!
Because they’re so good at it!
The elf-abet!
A car!
Use BIG words!
A fridge!
The same place you lost him!
All of them!
They’re all girls, otherwise, they would be uncles!
Thanks, I’ll never part with this!
The second telephone!
You’re dyslexic!
Water!
A towel!
Because they’re all in high school!
Her transparents!
Because it was holding up some pants!
A bulldozer!
A fsh!
Electric trains don’t have smoke!
Because they make up everything!
Because you stop looking when you find it!
Nothing, they were free of charge!
A stick!
Stairs!
Because he was outstanding in his field!
Married couples!
Slippers!
The repetitive format of knock-knock jokes are perfect for kids because they’re predictable, simple to understand, and it’s easy to invent new ones. Expect a few failures before you strike gold!
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Ireland.
Ireland who?
Ireland you my umbrella because it’s raining!
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Stopwatch
Stopwatch who?
Stopwatch you’re doing and open this door!
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Amish
Amish who?
Awww, I miss you too!
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Cow says
Cow says who?
No, cow says “Moooo!”
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Dishes
Dishes who?
Dishes me, who are you?
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Isabell
Isabell who?
Isabell working? I didn’t hear anything!
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Doris
Doris who?
Doris locked, that’s why I’m knocking!
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Smellmop
Smellmop who?
Yuck, no way!
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
The Funnel
The Funnel who?
The Funnel start once you let me in!
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, it’s cold outside!
She was awarded the ‘no-bell’ prize!
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Boo
Boo who?
Don’t cry!
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Cargo
Cargo who?
Car go beep beep, vroom, vroom!
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Interrupting cow
Interrupting co—MOOO!
(Timing is everything with this joke!)
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Justin
Justin who?
Justin time for dinner!
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
I love
I love who?
I don’t know, why don’t you tell me!
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Oh never mind, it’s pointless!
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Wooden shoe
Wooden shoe who?
Wooden shoe like to hear another knock-knock joke?
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Irish
Irish who?
Irish you a Merry Christmas!
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Tank
Tank who?
You’re welcome!
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Europe
Europe who?
No, you’re a poo!
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Broccoli
Broccoli who?
Broccoli doesn’t have a last name, silly!
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Atch
Atch who?
Bless you!
Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Banana
Banana who?
Banana nana nana nana Batman!
Kids are fascinated by hospitals, medicine, doctors and nurses, and how their body works, but these jokes probably won’t teach them about any of those things!
Patient: Doctor, I feel like a dog.
Doctor: Sit on the couch and we’ll talk about it then.
Patient: I’m not allowed on the couch!
Patient: Doctor, I can’t stop my hands from shaking?.
Doctor: Do you drink a lot?
Patient: No, I spill most of it!
Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I can’t feel my legs.
Doctor: I know you can’t, I’ve cut off your arms!
Because it wasn’t peeling well!
Patient: Doctor, every time I drink hot chocolate I get a stabbing pain in my eye.
Doctor: Try taking the spoon out first!
Patient: Doctor, I keep hearing a ringing sound.
Doctor: Then answer the phone!
Patient: Doctor, sometimes I feel like I’m invisible.
Doctor: Who said that?
Patient: Doctor, I’ve lost my memory.
Doctor: When did this happen?
Patient: When did what happen?
With their multiple meanings and similar-sounding words, puns are a fun way to teach kids about the intricacies of the English language. Just don’t be mean if you don’t know what they mean (pun intended.)
It just sucks!
Because they are two tyred!
A wonkey!
He was just going through a stage!
It syncs!
A scare conditioner!
They log-in!
To the dock!
Shore!
Me-OW!
Bison!
It goes through a jarring process!
A palm tree!
A mammoth!
A little plaque!
Hailing taxis!
Because she couldn’t control her pupils!
A headband!
Day-scare centers!
A lawn moo-er!
It’s full of blades!
I’ve fallen and can’t giddyup!
You put a little boogie in it!
I’m in glove with you!
No, they’re more sluggish!
Igloos it together!
Neigh-bor!
A bunny ribbit!
Hip-Hop!
It’s scales!
The ruler!
Beef jerky!
Ten-tickles!
A blood test!
Lawsuits!
To pick up his Master’s degree!
At the baa-baa shop!
I lava you!
With a see-saw!
Because he was a little shellfish!
Supplies!
The moo-vies!
You either love them or hate them, but for me, as a father of three kids, I think Dad jokes are awesome! Luckily my kids like them too. You don’t have to be a dad to tell dad jokes. Try not to groan, hear come some of the best of the worst!
With experi-mints!
You can call her whatever you like but she’s not coming!
Green paint!
Matt!
Never mind, it’s over your head!
When the punchline is a parent!
Don’t worry, he woke up!
Because it wanted to get to the bottom!
Cell phones!
Cashew!
Squash!
The spelling!
It was a real weight off my shoulder!
All of them!
Take away the ’S’!
A can’t opener!
A waist or time!
A trumpet!
He felt his presents!
Because the sea-weed!
This one!
No, only when they’re asleep!
To the retail store!
And then it hit me!
They’re not laughing now!
A satis-factory!
He was charged with resisting a rest!
She made a website!
A plain bagel!
Alley cats!
To get to the udder side!
Neil!
You boil the hell out of it!
I’ll let you know!
Nevermind, it’s tearable!
Data!
Neither, it’s best to write with a pen!
A pool table!
Jack!
It went back four seconds!
A newspaper!
Because they’re not wearing any clothes!
Kids don’t always make sense and neither do their jokes, but that doesn’t mean that they’re not funny. These incomplete, messed up, silly, and absurd jokes can still make you laugh out loud, particularly when delivered bo a cute little kid!
A crumpet frog!
Grass… I lied about the wheels!
A tree!
So they can hide upside-down in a bowl of custard!
A yellow boomerang!
They’re both grey, except for the ladybug.
A lemon disguised as a strawberry!
Because your bead won’t come to you!
A green thing!
Looking for more fun things to do with kids? See our 200 fun babysitting activities and use our filters to find the perfect games for your situation.
Written & Illustrated by
Kidsit Founder, Editor, Illustrator, and father of three beautiful kids in Sydney, Australia.
Updated: 13 November 2019
First Published: 16 September 2019
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